Well now, where to begin.
Ok, this is my very first blog, ever. A lot of people start off by saying that, don't they? I hate being the same as someone else, as you will see once we get going along this writing exercise that I am doing, however, it must be said that this is my first time and I really don't know how this will all pan out. So, here goes.
I am a 46 year old(which I really find hard to admit now that I'm 46) single mother of two kids, children...I don't know...one is an adult and one is a teenager. I will introduce you to them later, I promise. I wouldn't classify myself as anyone special, gifted, or wonderful. Presently, I am unemployed (not too happy about that) and at a crossroads in my life due to my own doing, or undoing, maybe-I'll leave that to you, the reader, if there will be any...who knows, right?? At any rate, I am at a crossroads as to what to do next. I am considering going on a form of Government Assistance that is available when someone is unable to work due to any number of health issues that hinders their ability to obtain or sustain full time employment. Why? The reasons why I am thinking of doing such a thing (which I'm also not too happy about) is because I am obese. Yes, I am. According to the doctors, I am considered Morbidly Obese. I know.....many people are and there are many health problems that come along with this foolish predicament that I am finally experiencing, that make it difficult to hold on to a job. I want to be healthy again and in order to do so, I must dig in and get myself better by going to a weight control clinic, one that I am signed up for already, but haven't been able to keep up with because of the hours that they are open. I also will have to see at least three different doctors to help me with my health problems. It's been impossible to hold down a daytime job and go to doctors' appointments, weight control clinics, etc.
This is why I believe that I have to stop working for a while.
Now, where were we? Oh, yes, I want to properly introduce myself to you instead of segwaying off in many other directions, which I'm known to do. My friend Suzy always says that she likes it better when I give her the "Readers Digest Condensed Version" of any good tale that I tell her.
Yes, I have friends, a few anyways. It's funny, you know...I've heard people say that as you get older, the number of friends that you have gets smaller. It's true. The number of friends does go down, until you are only left with a couple of really good friends in your life that you may not always see, but you know in your heart you can always count on. They are the friends that will be there if you were to pick up the phone and call them, stop by and see them, run into them somewhere...etc...and they are still your friends. They still love you and accept you for you and would help you if they can with whatever you need from them.
I can honestly say that I can count the number of friends that I have kept, on two hands...well, almost. I guess that's ok. It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, right?
Anyways, I, as usual, digress. I have friends, I'm considered somewhat humourous, sarcastic and dry I believe is the form of humour that I posess, although, I have been known to be just downright silly and fun loving. People who know me, say I'm well spoken, educated, have a positive outlook on life;well, sometimes. I am a very loving person, who tries very hard to show people that are important to me, how much I love them. This is usually a good thing, especially with the people who matter, like my kids, my parents, my brothers and their families-I guess and my real friends. However, this is not always the case. We can get to that later, like the other stuff I mentioned. There's a lot of other stuff.
See, I guess that the reason why I'm creating this blog is to perhaps help me to see my life better from a different view or any view, other than being inside. I think that this is an exercise for me to help me to get better. Believe me when I say that I don't like being in this predicament, yeah, the morbidly obese predicament, thing...whatever. This isn't me. This is what has become of me, but, it isn't me.
I want to become me again. The me I used to be, except with more knowledge than what I had then so that I can be the best version of me that is possible. I don't expect to be perfect, because I've seen what happens when you are. I am a christian and believe that we had one perfect person on this earth once and look how we treated him. You've heard the saying, haven't you? I wish I could go back and do it all over again....well, if I could go back to being...say...23 years old, with the body and looks that I had with the mind and attitude that I have now, I would rule the world. Well, not quite.....I mean I know that I can't be 23 again, but...I can be healthy again, both in body and mind and when I am, I will not only be able to work again, I will be able to succeed in life and be the best that I can be.
So, this was my first entry. I will return because I have a story to tell. I want to tell you about the wild and crazy and never boring life that I have had. Maybe I will see where I went wrong, maybe I already know that, I don't know. I do know that many people have told me that I should write a book about my life because nobody would believe unless they see it themselves and THAT is what I will do. I will make YOU see it for yourselves and who knows....maybe WE will all learn something from it.
Take care of yourself, reader, until I come back again to type out more about how I got here.
Love and happiness to all....
Lisa
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